Thursday, December 17, 2009

"Death is not the biggest fear we have; our biggest fear is taking the risk to be alive- the risk to be alive and express what we really are." M.Ruiz

The boys didn't have school today. Tomorrow is their Christmas pageant, and the other classes have theirs today so they needed the extra space. When the teacher told me about this unexpected day off, it occurred to me that I should invite the some of the moms over for coffee and a big playdate. Maybe I should invite all of them and see who can make it?

Then I thought: what if nobody comes? What if they feel obligated and don't really want to come? What if EVERYBODY comes?

Sometimes thoughts will occur to me and I will follow through with them even though I am afraid. Sometimes I just take the safe route by telling myself that I can easily get away with not doing it, I am too busy or I find some other fantastic reason to put it out of my mind and get on with my day- to- day life.

I remember when I was a freshman in college and I saw a sign advertising a meeting for people who wanted to run for Freshman Class Representative. Something inside me said: "you should do that!". It scared me, but the thought of regretting not doing it scared me even more. I went to the meeting, and realized that running and losing was the scariest part of the whole process. So I went door to door in the dorms by myself, talking to people about why they should vote for me. I won one of the 2 Freshman Class Rep positions. I learned a lot from that, but I realize now how motivated by fear I was. Perhaps that has something to do with the fact that I can't think of one thing that I did on behalf of our Freshman class. I was not passionate about student government, I was afraid to miss an opportunity to win an election and have a title. To be known for something.

I have a few friends that are doing things that really inspire me. My friend Susan just published a video on her web site, She writes a shopping blog about Saratoga, NY where she lives. Susan has cultivated relationships with the local store owners and her blog encourages readers to patronize the shops in town by featuring great items that are available, sales and promotions and giveaways. DTSB even has shopping events that bring shoppers to the stores and raise money for charity. She is doing something that she loves and is good at, and she is helping people as she does it. Susan isn't even exactly sure where she wants to take DTSB in the future- but that is what is most inspiring!

My friend Elizabeth discovered that she had food allergies a few years ago. Already a talent in the kitchen, she created recipes that do not include dairy, nuts, gluten, wheat etc.. She just published a book: Allergy-Free Desserts: Gluten, Dairy, Egg, Soy and Nut-Free Delights. Elizabeth turned a challenge into a business and she is helping other people at the same time!

I am so proud of Susan and Elizabeth for taking risks and working towards a dream. The don Miguel Ruiz quote above encouraged me to look again at The Four Agreements.

Five of the moms came over, and we had a great time. But I know that it was a good idea even if nobody had come, and I am so glad that I did it.

Notice all the girls that my boys are friends with- just like in NY!

They all played so nicely!

Moms Chatting

Such nice girls!

The aftermath

(Section below taken from http:/

The Four Agreements®

The Four Agreements

1. Be Impeccable With Your Word Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.

2. Don't Take Anything Personally Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering.

3. Don't Make Assumptions Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

4. Always Do Your Best Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.

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